Monday, May 28, 2012

That thing that I am not very good at....

I do a lot of things well.
 Do you what I do not do so well.
Rest. 
I like to be busy. 
Why?
Because I associate being busy with being needed.
I like to be needed. 
When I know that I am needed, there is a deep part of my soul that feels whole. 
I believe that we were made to be needed. 
 But what am I sacrificing to fill this need to be needed?
 
Last night I came home exhausted. 
Monday's are my Sabbath, so on Sunday's the whole week kind of catches up with me and I am just a tab bit overdone.
Monday's are my day to rest.
 
I was telling my roommate about what I had planned for my day of 'rest.'
 She became quiet for a minute.
Then she said, "Monday is the only day you have to rest right?
But you never actually take a day to rest."
 
Ouch.

But then it got really good. 
"The Lord is chasing you Hannah,
maybe you should slow down and let Him catch you."

Let me be clear on something, the Triune God, does not need me.
He is perfectly sufficient all on His own.
This is the wild part though:
He wants me.
He desires to talk to me and for me to talk back. 
I certainly do not make Him any more God when I engage with Him,
but I sure do make Him happy.

In order for Him to catch up with me though, 
I have to slow down.
I have to rest. 

So this morning, 
I woke up[at 6:45.on my day off. I know.]
and I turned off my iPhone. 
I put aside my laptop.
And I picked up my Bible.
 
I sat.
I talked.
I listened.
I read.
I wrote.
I laughed.
I cried. 
I rested in His presence. 
 
 I do not think anything monumental came out of those few hours. 
I did not solve any major problems.
I did not have any grand revelations.
But I feel refreshed.
I know that great Friend was delighted as well.
He is enthralled by me.
The feeling is quite mutual.
 
This week,
I am going to rest.
I am going to slow down.
I am going to learn to listen.
I am going to be filled not by the needs of others,
but by the love of Jesus.
 
"Be still and know that I am God."
Psalm 46:10

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